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What we need, may not always be what we want .



You know how they say that a picture is worth a thousand words? Well, I do believe that the photo above perfectly depicts the message of this article, three young ladies on the shore admiring a yacht on the ocean, almost seeming to say I wish I was on that yacht, instead of here on the shore. That is what we're going to talk about in today's article, our wants, our needs, and how they rarely line up.

Let's be real, as women we want a lot of things, and as women we are expected to want a lot of things and are actually marketed to much more than men are. Even advertisers understand that we women want a lot of things, and they market to our desires.

Today I want to examine the difference between our wants and our needs, and yes I do know that for those of us who have children, that is a lesson we are constantly trying to teach our children, but do we know that lesson for ourselves?

Acquiring things but not acquiring peace


The one thing that the advertising industry has done effectively is targeting women and advertising to us in a way that makes us feel that we need things that we don't. We are much more likely than men to buy something that we don't need based on advertising. The angle that advertisers use to make us want to buy useless things is that if you have this product it will make you better. The product will make you look better, feel more attractive, make you happier, give you worth, and we as a community have drunk it all up. We fill our lives with things hoping that those things will satisfy us. The question is, how often do they satisfy us? How often do the things that we fill our lives with give us lasting peace and joy? Well...they don't, and they never will. One lie that our culture tries to convince us of is that things bring joy. They use a rule for keeping your home clutter-free saying, "Only keep things that bring you joy." Well, that is impossible, because things don't bring joy, and they NEVER will. The truth is things won't bring peace or joy, even circumstances won't bring peace or joy. We tend to think, well when I begin to make more money I'll finally have peace, or when my home is just the way I want it I'll finally have joy. I hate to burst the bubble, but it's necessary, the truth is that discontent and unhappiness have nothing to do with what we have or don't have, they come from inner issues that we haven't dealt with, and no amount of adding or taking away externally is going to change that.


What we need


The truth is, the reason that we find ourselves discontented and complaining trying to use things to satisfy us, is because we have unresolved issues that we have not surrendered to God. Whether it's issues from our childhood, broken marriages, abuse all sorts of painful issues, that we have not been healed from, can disguise themselves as discontent. Sometimes it's unforgiveness, whatever the sin, and yes it is sin, that is the reason we feel discontented not because we don't have everyting that we want. I guarantee that if we got everything we wanted, we'd only find ourselves discontented again because we would realize that now we want more. The only thing that will bring us peace and joy and full satisfaction is deliverance and healing from our inner issues. The problem is that what we need we tend not to want, we don't like addressing issues from our past or expounding on painful issues that we deal with, we don't like dealing with the hard things. It's easier to ignore those things and settle for temporary happiness by acquiring, instead of everlasting peace and joy from the Father. However, our Father God desires that we be in health, the bible says in 3 John 1: 2,


3 John 1: 2

"Beloved, I wish above all things that thou mayest prosper and be in health, even as thy soul prospereth."


In this verse, this desire of God isn't just that we be healthy but that we prosper and be in health even as our soul prospers. Meaning that God wants our bodies to be healthy as well as our souls.

To God it is just as important that we have emotional health as physical health, He cares that we are healed from past pains, that we are delivered from sin and painful issues, that we walk in forgiveness, these things matter to God. He wants us to surrender these things to Him so that we may be truly free and experience true peace and joy. What we need is surrender, what we need is deliverance, and what we need is to forgive. Ignoring those needs is what leads to discontentment, disillusionment, and even depression. We weren't meant to carry the weight of our past or even the weight of our present alone. The Jesus says in Matthew 11:28-29 (NLT)


28 Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. 29 Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.


We were made to give our pains and burdens to the only one who is strong enough to carry them. Jesus went to the cross so that we could live free from the things that weigh us down so that we could cast them on Him because He cares for us, as the bible also says in 1 Peter 5:7.





Giving up our wants and accepting our needs


It's time for us as Becoming Proverbs 31 women to give up the notion of becoming happy by having things. We need to understand that in Jesus we have all that we need. He is the ALL that we need. The thing that we need to understand is when we are experiencing discontent we need more surrender, not more things. It is only in surrendering to God and giving away the sin that has hindered us, that we will find true contentment, peace, and joy. We're not looking for happiness nor are we going to settle for it, because it is temporary, we the children of the Most High God are promised righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit, that is the Kingdom of God! Why settle for less? The reason why we tend to settle for temporary happiness, instead of true peace and joy that only come from our God, is that we have never really experienced true peace and joy, so we don't understand what we're settling for. Well let me tell you, there is nothing like the peace and joy of Jesus Christ, and once you have attained it, there is no going back to anything less, because once you have tasted it then you truly understand why nothing else satisfies. It's time for God's children to stop settling for fool's gold and acquire the real deal through Christ's love, there is an authentic peace and joy that can be attained through surrender to the love of our Father that will heal and deliver us forever. Let's stop settling, let's do the hard work of surrender before our Father to receive His promised peace and joy and everlasting contentment.


If you need prayer or just someone to talk to, to help you through the processes of surrender and healing, please feel free to contact us through our contacts page, and we will be happy to pray with you and give a listening ear.


Charmarie V.W

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