Charm: Born to sing

Proverbs 31: 17-18

"She sets about her work vigorously;

her arms are strong for her tasks.

She sees that her trading is profitable,

and her lamp does not go out at night."

Hello, Becoming 31 Magazine Ladies! Let me introduce myself as many of you may not know me. My name is Charmarie Virgin, also known as Charm. I am a singer-songwriter from Bermuda, living in Atlanta, Ga. Music has always been a passion of mine, for as long as I can remember I have been singing and have loved to sing. I can still remember nights at my dad's singing group Daystar's rehearsals, as a 3-year-old child singing along and knowing every word. My dad could see my eye for music and singing and started me singing in competitions at the age of five, for most of my life I couldn't see myself doing anything but singing. However, like with so many other dreams in life, I was told to be sensible and find a concrete career. Back in those days, chasing dreams wasn't as popular as it is today, and although I have always felt a calling on my life to sing, I put it on the back burner. I wrecked my brain trying to figure out what else I could choose to dedicate my life to. My first inclination was to be a lawyer. My mother always told me that I was very argumentative, but then I thought about all of the compromises that I may have to make of my integrity, so I gave up on that. Then I thought about childhood psychology, I like children, and I like the science of the psyche, I thought maybe that would be my fit. I even went to school briefly for child psychology, but I ended up not finishing. Everything that I tried to do on my own was just not working out, and the biggest thing that was missing was what God had to say about my life, and what God was saying was "You will sing."

The dream: to Sing

Once I finally surrendered my life to Jesus and decided to live the life that He had mapped out for me, He showed me that singing and songwriting were always my callings. They were more than just something I liked to do, they were what I was made to do. Initially, that was a hard thing to hear from God and even to understand; I felt like if I was made for this then why wasn't I already doing it? Why did I have to be discouraged from pursuing it when I was younger? It almost felt too good to be true, but what I later found out is that God is always too good and He is always true! Similar to how Joseph dreamed about being a ruler, then was sold into slavery, and had to spend time serving before he could rule, God always sends us on journeys of preparation for our dream. Although slavery might seem like the opposite of ruling, they are actually synonymous, because at the heart of a ruler is a servant, and only good rulers understand that. Although it seemed like I was doing everything but singing, God was teaching me through the many things that I had survived how to minister to people through all the things that He was allowing me to go through. He was showing me that the dreams that I had were not too big for me, He was just readying me to fit into them.

The fear

Once I received my dream from God and decided to stand in faith with God about my dreams being realized the work began, and by work I mean fear. Don't get me wrong, I was still using my gifts in Church to minister during worship and I love to worship; there was no fear in that. The fear came in writing and singing my own songs. It was so crippling, I didn't realize just how crippling it was until much later in life. I would be in my dads' studio for hours writing and recording songs, and none of them saw the light of day. There was only one song that I managed to release and not immediately discard, and after actually doing it, I saw that It wasn't that scary. I had nothing to be afraid of. However, as fear does, it returned and was just as baseless as ever, even though I released that first song and I learned it wasn't scary at all, the fear of releasing another song surfaced. What if the second one isn't as good as the first one? What if people hate the song? What if they hate me? I was bombarded with one what-if after another. What I later learned was fear isn't compartmentalized into one part of our thinking, if we will fear one thing, we will fear everything. I found myself living in fear, which stopped me from pursuing many things, not just music.

Starting over

Needless to say, deliverance from fear became a constant theme in my life. The Lord was constantly bringing it to the forefront of my mind. I allowed fear to stop me from releasing music completely after the first song was released and used every excuse to justify my immobility.

During the pandemic, the Lord was leading me in deliverance from fear. I watched God time and time again during that treacherous time provide, protect, and secure my life, and my family's lives, in astounding ways. It was like being in Goshen while Egypt was being inundated with plagues, we were beyond protected. The Lord showed me, in an indisputable way, that He was in control of my life, and nothing that I could fear be it rationally or irrationally would deter His perfect plan for my life. I am His, His plans for me are good, and that's it! After the pandemic, during which, I couldn't write or record a song even if I wanted to, the Lord began to stir in my heart the calling to make music again. With a new revelation of God's love for me, His plans for me, and His protection over my life I was ready to start again. I was able to throw away years of regret for allowing so much time to pass without releasing music, I was able to forgive myself for the crippling fear that had hindered me and start again. I picked up from where I left off and began writing and recording again, still with some apprehension, but with a renewed mindset, that nothing would stop me from living my God-given purpose.

The lesson

God taught me so many things in this journey, the first thing was, you were created for this. You were born to sing. I learned that it isn't people that get to tell you who you are, because people don't know. Our parents don't know, our friends don't know, we don't even know. Only the author of the book knows how the story ends. My creator knows who I am, He formed me in my mother's womb and knew me even before that, He chose me and He gifted me. I was born for this! The second lesson I learned is the gift isn't for anyone's approval, the gift is to bring Glory to God. I sing for Him, I write for Him, I worship Him, anyone who doesn't like it doesn't matter, it isn't for them anyway. My Father delights in me, He rejoices over me with singing, and He purposes that the gifts that He gave be used for His delight. He is my only audience, and my delight is to bring Him the fruit of my lips. Lastly, the Lord taught me that the world's measure of success is foolish and perishable. He taught me that the only real measure of success is measured in the imperishable, in the things that last forever, which is His Kingdom. This is why we seek first the Kingdom of God and His righteousness all these things will be added unto us. My success comes from living a life that is centered on Jesus and His eternal Kingdom. Now I am working on an album titled "Diamond (unbreakable)" The first two singles of the album "Been There" and "My Story" have been released, and the album will be released in the Fall. Becoming 31 Magazine will have updates soon. Until Next time!